Disney Princess

I was informing the children about their end of year activity week and what is planned for them. The year group I have will for the first time be able to go away to stay over for a night at an activity centre as a year group. As they are all roughly 7/8 years old, for many of them, the prospect of this is quite exciting. This was roughly how the moment went.

Me: So, we’ll be going on lots of daytrips that week, and also we will be going to the adventure centre to stay over for one night.

Child 1: All of us together?

Me: Yes, all of us together.

All children burst into a chorus of excited giggles and gasps.

Child 2: Miss, will you be there too?

Me: Yes, of course I will be. So will all your other teachers.

Again, met with a chorus of excitement with on little voice being heard above the rabble of ‘COOOOL! WOW! AWESOME!’

Child 3: Oh, it’s going to be MAGICAL!!!!!

Bless her wee Disney Princess dreams!

A ‘Wee’ Story

Today a child was regaling me with some of his summer holiday adventures. He said he and his family had been to lots of places on a bit of an Eastern Europe road-trip.

“Really? What countries did you go to?’ I asked.

“We-ell, we went to Hungary and Romania………oh, and we had a ‘wee’ in Ukraine.”

“…………..?!”

At which point the boy dashed off  leaving his poor mum to explain that while driving near the border of Ukraine they had needed to stop for a toilet stop – so the boy did literally do a ‘wee’ a couple of steps over the Ukranian border.

Apparently this was the highlight of his holiday!

Anatomical Confusion

Mid-maths lesson, my meercat teacher head was raised by a bit of a commotion at the other side of the room. Realising it was one of the boys entertaining the rest of his table, I asked him to sit down and get on with his work. He obliged for all of a moment before he was standing up and hovering around the table again. The following conversation took place.

Teacher: “What are you doing?”

Child: “Nothing.”

Teacher: “Yes, I can see that. Pick up your pencil and keep going with your work, you can entertain us all later.”

Child: *still not sitting down starts chatting again with his neighbour*

Teacher: “Can you please sit on your bottom now?”

Child: “I don’t……I don’t know where it is…..”

Teacher: “You don’t know where your bottom is?”

Cue uproarious laughter from the rest of the children.

Side note: He knew where his bottom was – it was his pencil he had lost and thought I was repeating an earlier request.

The Party Dress Conundrum

I tend to get given fashion advice from some children – specifically the 5 year olds in the Reception class. One day I was wearing a long skirt that had some sequins here and there on it. Not outlandish or super sparkly, but still with a little sparkle. I also, being a bit of a shoe fanatic, was wearing silver sequinned shoes.

When on playground duty later that day, a few of the girls from Reception class came skipping up to me.

“Miss L, I like your skirt.”

“Miss L, I like your shoes.”

“But, Miss L, are you going to a party?”

I smiled at them and said, “Sadly not.”

“Well, I don’t think you should be wearing a party dress to school. You should only keep them for parties, that’s what my mum says.”

“And you shouldn’t wear party shoes either.”

I laughed and said, “I’m afraid I don’t have anything else I can change into.”

“I have my paint shirt in the classroom. You can have that if you want.”

Needless to say I politely declined the offer of a 5 year olds paint shirt to clothe myself in for the rest of the day.

The Easter Story – a child’s perspective

Thanks to my mum for reminding me of this one and for saving MSN conversations from me This one is maybe not so much for the comedy factor, and more for the ‘amazing things 6 year olds can say’ factor!

One of my favourite subjects to teach little ones is RE and to see how it can really get the cogs in their minds whirring around! This year I had a great discussion with my class about the Easter Story. We watched the film ‘The Miracle Maker’ as a culmination of our unit about the Easter Story and followed this up with the children being completely free to ask questions. Then, as a class, the children were asked to think about the questions and see if they themselves could answer them.

The following is the question they asked, and the answer given – all in the words of the children themselves, of course!

‘Why could they still see the holes in his hands after he came back?‘

‘It was because some of them didn’t believe it was him, and he wanted to prove to them that it really was him and that was the best way to show it.’

‘Why did they put the thorns on his head?’

‘It was because people were saying he was a King.’…… ‘But they didn’t believe it so they were making fun of him and being mean.’

‘Why did Judas kiss him when he was getting Jesus arrested?‘

‘It was because he wanted to say goodbye.‘

‘Why were people following Jesus?’

‘They were following Jesus because he was saying good things and they wanted to hear more.’

‘Why did he have to die on the cross?’

‘Because God wanted everyone to have a way of getting to heaven, and this was it.’
Kids seem to be able to explain it better than most adults could!

Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho….

One afternoon in my class of 6 year olds, I had given them all a fairly substantial writing task that was to be done over the next couple of days. The kids all settled down to write while I went round to work with a few of them. I tuned in to a couple of the girls as they were chatting quietly with each other.

“I don’t like being a child…..”

“Why not? I quite like it.”

“No, we have to do lots of work. When I grow up I want to be a teacher, just like Miss L, so that I don’t need to do any work anymore.”

I giggled and asked if they thought that being a teacher is an easy job.

“Yes. And it’s not a job. You don’t work. You just give us all the work to do.”

What a slave driver I am!

Light Sabres and Boys Bits

The children from this story were 6 years old, and at that time they were becoming all too aware of themselves, and the differences between boys and girls. When walking along the corridor I overheard the boys from the class in the bathroom. I heard the wonderful, hilarious sounds of boys ‘role-playing’ and heard cries of ‘I’m Luke Skywalker!’ ‘No, I’m Luke Skywalker. You’re Hans Solo!’ ‘I’m Darth Maul!!’ I decided to send the boys outside to continue their game, and upon opening the door to the bathroom, discovered the boys all playing a game of ‘Star Wars’ – using their penis as their light sabre!

Following this, I overheard a group of the girls in my class discussing said incident.
‘I don’t like them.’
‘Like what?’
‘Boys bits……their willies.’
‘Eww, I don’t like them either – they’re weird!’
..……contemplative silence………...
‘I don’t know….I don’t like them just now – but I think I might like them when I’m older….‘

Ah, out of the mouth of babes.

The Standard Intro Post

What’s it all about?

As a teacher I have gathered a ridiculous amount of stories and funny anecdotes about the amusing things that children say………and here’s where I’ll be sharing them with the world.

Enjoy, laugh, comment